The Number To Call Is 0532779463
You may have seen that I quit my Twitter, at least for the foreseeable, saying that I was tired of being trapped in effectively a culture war. I do not keep a podcast or Youtube channel. I do not shill for views and I do not have a book to sell, nor does my career need any kind of promotion. I am not grifting crowdfunders. There is no joy in adulation for me and I do not like parasocial environments. There isn’t much pleasure to be gained out of it. But welcome to Never Mind The Streamers — the phone lines are now open. If you want to be a grifter, there’s plenty of advice out there for you. This is effectively two blogs in one; if you are here for directly political content, I would scroll down to the page break. You should probably read both together.
A few days ago I sat on Facetime — or the Whatsapp version of it — to a friend that I haven’t properly spoken to in weeks. We sat talking about the correct way to eat Maltesers. We spoke about his struggling to cope under the coronavirus restrictions and it’s impact on his mental health. We spoke about our partners and we spoke about sex. We had a normal conversation that did not disintegrate into a million strands of discourse and it was just complete pleasure. When I hung up the phone, I was immediately bombarded with tweets about who is the ‘real’ mother in lesbian relationships and invited to ‘think’ about how I made someone ‘feel unsafe’ because I said that it makes me uncomfortable to have my sex life, as a lesbian, dissected by everyone every single day on the internet. I am drawing a very strong correlation between those two extremes. I dislike both with the same intensity, for very different reasons. So which side am I meant to condemn? The side that says my right to a family is wrong or my right to sexual boundaries is wrong? Because on any given day, I can find both — and you both have people willing to tell each other that it is the ‘progressive’ view. Days before this, I saw someone lambast someone because she didn’t want a man to approach her knowing she was a lesbian, saying it “isn’t rude to ask someone out”. By the same token, you get very upset when men start asking me about my sexual habits. You can’t have it all ways. I am a lesbian; I want zero to do with men on a romantic or sexual level. This isn’t a choice nor a trend. This is basic levels of common sense to anyone in the real world. You get very upset and take this as some kind of literal translation because I suppose the ability to apply critical analysis to text is difficult and on the internet the world must be packaged in a way that makes it feel swaddled and small. My heterosexual counterpart will never face the same level of fuckery that I do and yes, I am bitter about that. I am not interested in your ridiculous levels of theory, be they radical feminist or queer theory. I think they are all garbage and unfeasible in the real world, not just to my life, but on scores of varying issues. You can cry and stamp your feet all you like but the fact remains that I do not subscribe to theory. I will mock a radical feminist who thinks reading a book makes you take up cunnilingus and I will mock you for your queer theory. The idea that there are radical feminists telling heterosexual women to abandon their relationships entirely with men is just as appalling to me as you demanding that people refer to having all the ridiculous concepts you have in queer theory. I would immediately, without question or hesitation, ban someone from having access to a child in my care if they spoke to them about delusional homophobic theories like political lesbianism or the split attraction model. All of these theories are merely like religion and religion is just a night light for adults to cope with the difficulty of real life. It isn’t how people interact or talk in reality and I simply will not be part of it. If you are perfectly content with the idea of my excluding one type of theorist but not another, then I suspect you merely only wish the world to exist in a way that you see fit. I have said frequently that I would ban — and throw out — a radical feminist from my home due to her views because I find them extreme. If you find that impressive but find it horrifying that if I found myself on a date with a woman who subscribed to queer theory I would just go to the toilet and not come back, then you are just as bad as said radical feminists.
I’m sorry if it is a revelation to you that some of us exist who can’t fucking stand any of it; you just won’t ever hear our voices. And you are not allowed to be frustrated or angry by that. For every opportunistic conservative, there are opportunistic liberals who can’t get their heads around any of it. You must fit in Slot A or Slot B.
I have written quite extensively on having went through same sex domestic abuse at a young age. What that has resulted in has been ‘gender critical’ accounts arguing with me over this; as far as they are concerned, lesbians can never be abusive. We simply sit around all day pulling the petals off daisies or something. What I have seen in response to that are liberals making inference to lesbian domestic abuse rates when they are arguing with lesbians they think are ‘bad’. Having gone through it, I would like to ask what exactly do you think you are doing? “Statistically your girlfriend might beat you up ner ner”. Wow. You’re such a great person. This has done wonders for women like me, who — and I’ll be completely blunt — have been retraumatised in ways they never thought they could be again thanks to your ‘debate’. But women like me are lesbians, which means we are only really good to be tokenised. At no point do you actually get to be a fully formed person with your own views and opinions — you must fit neatly into a box. As I said, my heterosexual counterpart will never face the same level of fuckery that I do and yes, that makes me very bitter. My heterosexual counterpart can declare herself straight and no one will cross examine her as to whether she has ever thought about being with a woman, has ever tried being with a woman — but I will get it over a man. If anything, people will see it as creepy, invasive and fetishistic to ask a heterosexual woman about her supposed flirtations with bi curiosity. And yet, liberals and progressives will do it to me with absolute, carefree abandon and delude themselves that it is not steeped in homophobia at it’s core. I will be told by liberals, under some ridiculous theory, that it is ‘offensive’ if I say I don’t want a man to come onto me with the same sanctimonious, self righteous smile conservatives have when they tell me I should ‘be flattered’. Good, I hope I offend you. Liberals have all the same sense of entitlement to my sexual life as conservatives, and get just as upset when they are told no. Liberals, stood there with their Pride flags and buzzwords, never want to be told that they are just as bigoted as those bad, mean conservatives — they are the good folx, donychano? I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re both two sides of the same coin.
Liberals also never admit they’re liberals, because they know everyone hates liberals and their RBJ memes. You can post ACAB all you like, you’re still a liberal. Police oppression? You can have it, sir. I actually don’t hate the ‘voting will save democracy! here’s a RBJ as an angel meme even I’ve no grasp of how this is offensive’ liberal; they’re mostly harmless, floating around the world with their pumpkin spiced latte. They know they’re capitalists, they know they’re flawed, they’re prone to Karen. I have a bit of a soft spot for those liberals. But I fucking loathe the liberal who pretends to be the embittered old socialist until you scratch a little on the surface. Online you have turned my sexual orientation into a political battleground, and it is overwhelmingly my sexual orientation. It is the mention of the word ‘lesbian’ that is like a red rag to a bull for you. The quickest way for me to spot a liberal, even when they are waving all the ACABs and screaming from the rooftops that they are definitely a progressive type of person, is how quickly they see the word ‘lesbian’ and resort to running up on her for an argument. You will run off to denounce her to the world as a ‘TERF’ because you are a liberal and liberals are just as steeped in misogyny and homophobia as the conservatives you despise. The difference is that a conservative will just call me a dyke. You don’t have the balls to do that, so you have found a shiny new buzzword instead, and any time a lesbian — any lesbian — does anything you do not like, you call her the word you would like so desperately to use instead of dyke or lesbo. Really, I would have so much more respect for liberals if they just said dyke as an insult. Don’t believe me? Why are your cohorts calling Lindsey Graham Lady G then? I’m sure you aren’t though, you probably call that out on your little podcast. I might even click on said little podcast and give you some Adsense money because it would be an honest grift. Anyway, how many followers do you have now?
But the right wingers will get excited by this and sorry — I fucking hate you too. You see, I see you look for the weirdest and wackiest takes that you can repurpose and show off to your baying audiences. You love the mocking of “SJW culture”, because it gets you clicks, and clicks bring you revenue. Sometimes you might get really into the grift and pretend you care about how a minority group is being perceived. You don’t care either. You just want your own validation, and the money that comes with it. You’re caught in your own little bubble too; you can’t criticise the stupid shit that pours out of the right, or bite the hand that feeds you, because then the income will dry up. It is profitable to seem like a contrarian, but you aren’t really interested in it. If you really want to make the big money, you sell your soul to the devil and start promoting the MAGA lot. I’m not sure why anyone would try and get in on the anti-MAGA grift. It is very much over saturated, but if you really want to make good money — QAnon has picked up the steam. So why would I respect you either? You aren’t ‘truth tellers’. You hang around with people who think Clinton drinks blood and Bill Gates wants to chip everyone with a vaccine. The internet has made people more stupid, not more intelligent; the only difference is now you can come up with some theory to justify why you are more stupid.
Why would I wish to be around people who routinely tear around my basic rights to a family, who argue who is the ‘real’ mother in lesbian parents and feel entitled to that information? Why would I have the slightest amount of respect for ‘feminists’ who run off to go on on podcasts with homophobes from the Heritage foundation? Why would I have any tolerance for people who think the UK Conservative party are the beacon of women’s rights in this country? What is there to respect in women who call any lesbian who does not subscribe to a hate movement ‘men’ and any gay man who resists their belief system ‘paedophiles and groomers’? You don’t even think period poverty exists. Your entire world view exists to solely talk about another minority group 24/7 whilst constantly helping to create a whirlpool of hatred in which people like me are also stuck. You are both as bad as each other, and because I am seemingly making this impossible to make clear, I will once again repeat that the liberals and conservatives who feed this non stop culture war are the ones I am targeting.
What’s the solution to female poverty? Radical feminism. Because apparently if we never actually counter decades of societal and structural damage in place that we just started calling austerity (like it was anything new — the 80s were good for you? wow) somehow things will be different this time. Let us just put more laws in place, because criminals have always followed laws, and let us not tackle any kind of issue with money that the government will not give us, because a THEORY will solve all our fucking problems. Are prisons overcrowded? Doesn’t matter, because criminals will definitely obey these laws. I’m not sure why liberals dislike it so much because deep down liberals want to run all the prisons anyway. Has someone hurt your feelings on the internet by existing in a way you do not like and it has nothing to do with your implicit, deeply held bigotry? Let us create a THEORY as to why they should ‘do better’. Well, of course! People always respond well to that. Why not go one better and destroy their entire life? They will definitely like you then and listen to everything you’ve got to say and that will really teach them for calling you naughty names on the internet. If you encourage more people to look in the mirror, you will never even notice yours is dirty. Don’t like the presidential candidate? Create a THEORY that they traffic children out of pizzeria basements! Honestly, the world is so much better and smaller and safer when you don’t have to cope with reality and how cold it is. You can just make like they did in South Park and publicly execute Reality. And remember, I’m a lesbian, so when I’ve insulted your THEORY, you can run off weeping and tell everyone I’m a bad person because Reality made you feel bad. Why not? There’s lots of things you can call me; if you’re a conservative you can say I’m a man, and if you’re a liberal you can say I’m a terf. Either way you can box me away where you don’t have to consider my opinions might blow a hole in your precious theory. The world is so much easier when it exists in binary. Don’t you feel safe now? You’ll never have to think for yourself.
Conservatives (small c) can’t grasp the basic element of just treating a person with dignity and respect regardless of their personal characteristics. You might say you do, but if you did, I’d never know if you were homophobic, and you’re usually quick off the mark to let me know that you are. This is why, despite my political views swinging more harshly to the left, I tend to get on better with traditional (read: non paedo) left libertarians at least on superficial social connections. For one, libertarians all fucking hate each other and everyone fucking hates libertarians so generally they feel a strange sense of shock that someone is being civil to them. We also tend to fucking hate liberals with the same intensity. However, generally there is a shared mutual despising of authority, government and not really caring what you do if you aren’t bothering anyone else with a heavy dose of pro-individualism. Liberals and conservatives do bother everyone else because they want to control the behaviour of others. Moreover, you are bothering and irritating me, which is fucking unacceptable.
If you wish to have cosmetic surgery to have 50 unicorn horns surgically implanted onto your body, I do not believe the Government has the right to intervene in that. I do not believe I should pay for that on the NHS; you should pay for that privately, but I do not think you should be prevented from doing that. I would not have 50 unicorn horns surgically added to my body. This is why I find much of gender critical discourse ridiculous when they believe cosmetic surgery should be banned or discouraged. There is very little I personally would consider, but I do not believe in the right of the State to intervene or ban a private citizen from doing anything they wish to their body. Get a matching pony tail for all I give a shit; it is your body and I couldn’t care less. I do not believe the party who has had 50 unicorn horns surgically attached to their body should be discriminated against in employment or housing. I do not believe they should be paraded as a symbol of mockery anymore than I wish to applaud their decisions; I simply could not give a shit what other people do if it doesn’t bother or affect me. They are a private citizen doing what they wish to their body and are still entitled to partake in society as any other citizen. I do not believe their family life should be disturbed; they also have the right to a private family life. It is not something I would do. I may privately find it strange but I believe in their rights to live and partake in society the same as anyone else and that it is a decision between themselves and their doctor(s). If you find something to argue with over this, then congratulations, you are probably obsessed with the State having control over private citizens and therefore a terrible human being. As I said, I don’t have to like something, but not liking something doesn’t mean I believe that person deserves any harm — quite the opposite. I believe the State should stay out of citizens’ lives as much as possible. If you wish to interpret the clearly defined stipulation of cosmetic surgery to other procedures, then congratulations, you are a liberal with a saviour complex. Both of you are foul people and I despise you both. Were you rushing to interpret it to other groups because of my sexual orientation, even though everyone knows these people do tend to target women who have standard cosmetic surgery like breast augmentation or even just lip fillers and facelifts? Oh dear, because I was referring to individuals like this when I referred to “50 unicorn horns”. It couldn’t be that you are… homophobic, now could it? It is almost as though conservatives and liberals are as homophobic as each other, just on different topics. Who could have thought?
About a week ago I said all gender critical men should be added to a watch list where their hard drives are checked by the police. This is doubly hilarious if you actually understand my political views and are aware that I have a fundamental, deep rooted mistrust of the police as a body; but nevertheless, I added men who insisted on talking in sexually graphic ways, who hounded and pursued women, who engaged in violent fantasies around rape etc to this list. Most of those men were very desperate to announce to the world that they had been added to a list saying their hard drives had been checked. I do not understand why you would announce to the world a woman thinks you are creepy and added you to a list saying your hard drive needs checked by the police, but these men did. This is my earlier point; you can recognise it as wrong when men sit all day bluntly fetishising the idea of lesbians being raped and write about over and over. You are not so comfortable when it is liberals pushing the envelope of unacceptable behaviour. I have had men think nothing of shouting “fuck your boundaries” and when conservative men have the door slammed in their face I am a ‘radical feminist’. When liberal men have the door slammed in their face I am a ‘TERF’. There is nowhere to actually exist with boundaries as a lesbian on the internet and this is the world that both capitalising sides have drawn. It doesn’t matter that I am actually neither. You will insist on pushing me into a box that makes you feel most comfortable. The entire scenario was ridiculous, with my being demanded that I should go on some right wing podcast (that claims it is not right wing, but is patently right wing) to explain why I have boundaries from men on the internet. When I refused, the inference was made that I was probably a man anyway. I suspect they disliked the fact that I told them their content was the kind of thing that South Park leaves on the cutting room floor and that South Park can be entertaining sometimes; but again, there is that assumption again that I must be some shrieking leftie liberal because I don’t sit around all day complaining that I hate trans people.
Here is a non exhaustive list of groups of people I hate:
- Conservatives
- Liberals
- Those wankers who know the lane is closed and drive up anyway just to cut in
- People who didn’t pay attention to being taught critical analysis in high school Modern Studies
- People who chew with their mouths open
- People with podcasts
- People who feel the need to tell you the book or graphic novel is better (especially on their fucking podcast)
- Those really tall pricks who stand in front of you at a gig you’ve been looking forward to since you were a fetus and film the entire fucking thing
- Looking out of my bedroom window on a beautiful crisp morning and spotting another human being; any human being really
Unfortunately trans people aren’t on there for being trans, but if any of them are applicable (like driving up to cut me off on the motorway), yeah I probably hate you for that.
Immediately after I had one of these men in my mentions screaming that I must be a ‘TRA’ (a play on MRA meaning ‘trans rights activist’ where they are effectively calling the target a man) and inferring that I was probably a man, I had someone in my DMs asking me ‘why’ I retweeted a friend who posted a tweet mocking him and talking about lesbians’ rights to boundaries from men saying “it sounds terfy” and how she “is on a terf list”. I replied that she was mocking a man arguing with me over a podcast, but what was wrong with her that she saw a lesbian talking about boundaries and assumed that was ‘terfy’ before telling her to go away and blocking her. Again, I have written extensively on having experienced same sex domestic abuse. Receiving messages like that makes my blood go cold. The red flag for you in that word is ‘lesbian’ and once again I entirely blame liberals for this shit. I have no doubt that certain camps will run off to blame ‘TRAs’ or whatever; I am specifically blaming every single grifting liberal who has sought viral fame, clickbait and likes where they have fucked up young people to run ‘discourse’ on something as basic as the word ‘boundaries’ without applying basic levels of common sense. You should be ashamed of yourselves, but you will not be. And before the conservatives get excited, I equally blame you for your desire to capitalise off it for your own sick gain. You have both created a world that leaves young people at risk of exploitation from partners across the board because they are too steeped in a fucked up culture war, running “discourse” on what boundaries actually are. It is foul. You have lost all kind of common sense. Conservatives will scrabble in the dirt looking for any mud to fling, but no one would want to align themselves with bigots. Liberals will scrabble in the dirt babbling about ‘consent is a thing’ as though you remember what it is like to be 19 and in a bad relationship. You both made this world because you were more interested in arguing like divorcing parents.
On that note, however I fully believe that liberals are modern day Puritans; I have seen liberals repeatedly state that ‘going on a date isn’t sex’. Well — no, but to be quite blunt I am not wasting my time simply going to go for a drink with someone I am not at least open to the idea of being sexually intimate with. Liberals, much like conservatives, have this way of demanding everyone sees the world the way they do. I personally couldn’t care less if you are the kind of person who will date a person for months before being sexually intimate with them. Good for you. I am a first date, live fast die young kind of person and my delusions of hearts and flowers are long gone. I know if I’m into it a couple of drinks in but oh dear, there’s that real life and individual personalities bursting your theories’ bubbles again. Why would I waste my time going on a date if I’m looking to get laid? Do you think your batshit theories that you got out of books know my reactions to attraction and sex better than I know myself? Dear radical feminists: I’m sorry, but yes, some lesbians like casual sex. Oh, now I’ll be a hypocrite — because not wanting people to offer up my sexuality for fetishisation means I must be a bit of a prude. You see? There is no comfortable space with which to exist with these bastards.
The ‘rules’ of warring liberals and conservatives will demand that I write in disclaimers, as a lesbian, that I have no problem with trans people and trans people do not do this. I am not doing this and it is not for the reason you think — I am not a fucking grifter and I do not see trans people as a monolith to exploit for my own social media capital. That is the fuckery of their culture war, not mine. I treat people as individuals; all people, regardless of their personal characteristics. I would like the same to be afforded to me.
About two or three weeks ago I had some gender critical woman in my account screaming that I follow Pink News, therefore I must believe X or Y. I was, again, screamed at about genitals and told I “probably don’t even know what a lesbian is” despite being quite blunt with her. Over and over I am expected to describe my sexual practices to these people, or explain myself to liberals. I have no desire to do either; I hate the world you have helped to make. I follow all kinds of accounts, because I follow people I also disagree with. This is how adults tend to learn about other peoples’ thinking; they read, they ask questions, they listen. They form their own opinions and judgments based on the information that is supplied to them. Now we take information that we are told to believe and listen to according to the bubble that makes us feel most liked, most popular, and we parrot it without ever actually listening to what we are saying. I don’t think some of you say any of this crap out loud. Some of it sounds as ridiculous as Clinton drinking kids’ blood — but by god, on the internet, you’ll whip yourselves into a frenzy truly believing it. And at the heart of all of it, as soon as you see that magical, overpoliticised word of ‘lesbian’, I am entirely reduced to a political discourse that must fit into a political ideology that makes your view of the world feel safe and comfortable. I do not want to, and yes you are homophobic for making me play this bullshit game. You are homophobic for assuming my political views; you are homophobic for assuming I must hate trans people to exist; you are homophobic for asking me about my sex life. This applies to both conservatives and liberals. I could not give a shit if you are “gay”; I could set up a Twitter account and in the space of three months or so have the semblance of a ‘real’ persona by following trends. Stop being so fucking naive. I can delude you that I am whoever I want you to believe I am, if I am so inclined, on the internet. You will not go into cardiac arrest and die because someone on the internet is not receptive to what you are telling them. I have zero fucking interest in conservatives talking to me about my bedroom and I have zero interest in liberals talking to me about it either. Both of you have major fucking boundary issues and none of you should be fucking anybody.
You will read this with the demands of blaming ‘this side’ or ‘that side’ — no, I am very much blaming cultural attitudes. Both conservatives and liberals live in tiny bubbles where bullying people — and let me be absolutely clear, you are both bullies — into submission solves a problem. They have no sense of bigger picture. You are both single issue. How is the person who sent me that DM any different to the person who tells everyone they are supporting women yet voting for a party that defunds women’s projects? You don’t even know what you believe; you just do what people on the internet tell you to do, or think. You say what makes your followers happy. It is all shilling for likes and approval. There is zero independence of thought. Good evening Shirley, I am so glad you have rung. Give me four years and I’ll get right down to it, because unlike my little balding colleague on my left, we don’t make promises we can’t keep… Are you still there Martin? One more thing! Give us your vote. Or subscription. Or likes. Or donations. Or claps. Or retweets. Or…
There was another lesbian I was friends with (who is no longer on social media). Her life was made a living hell because once — once — she liked a tweet liberals found offensive. At the same time, conservatives never left her alone, including lovebombing her anytime she spoke about having been raped. When I say her life was made a living hell, I would sometimes sit chatting to her late at night when she couldn’t cope with the level of bullying she was getting. She is the same age as me. What has this culture war between liberals and conservatives done for women like me? I will see people openly dedicate their Twitter accounts to ‘attacking bigotry’ and ‘celebrate’ that account having more followers than their others. I have one Twitter account where I post(ed) about… whatever I felt like. So accounts that make a point of ‘hunting’ and attacking, with endless quote tweets, overwhelmingly lesbian-themed issues and arguing over them with theory are something to celebrate? Even if I know women who have been driven offline due to their depression because of behaviour that is exactly like this? I mean, I am referring to both liberals and conservatives here but if there is a part of you that keeps re-reading this paragraph thinking “is she talking about me?” then by all means, feel free to lace that boot up and wear it.
People assume because I occupy a relatively peaceful part of the internet that I am happy enough being on it. I can write about things I care about and move in and out of different communities with ease. If I think someone has gotten you wrong on one thing, even if I fundamentally disagree with you on everything else, I will defend you on that point because I think there should be a tiny scrap of integrity somewhere. What people actually think of me doesn’t bother me because I sleep in a big bed with my partner so people can write that I sacrifice puppies to the Devil and I’d just laugh (I might be upset if it is kittens, I like cats more and I’d never do that to kittens). What you think of me as a person is very different than willingly choosing to remain part of a homophobic culture fuelled by grifting. Voices like mine won’t ever get heard. I don’t want a podcast, I don’t want media attention, I don’t run crowdfunders for bullshit legal action. I’ve been asked various times to do interviews as to why I left the GC movement and I turn most of them down in the end because I don’t want the attention. I live a very private life. What does it matter if my interests include talking about issues to do with domestic abuse, radicalisation or criminal justice matters? What does it matter if I am interested in topics to do with political topics that impact the rest of society? I am openly gay on the internet and in the middle of a bullshit culture war between the extremes of liberals and conservatives who both think the world is lava or something. I will be caught forever between them where anything I say is torn apart. It does not matter that I can cultivate a small, decent audience of normal people. I am not entitled to an opinion on anything else because of the culture war between these two grifters that insist on loudly screaming on everything. Anything I say, think or write must appease said grifters, because they are incapable of simply allowing gay women to exist on the internet. For what it is worth, I equally believe the two sides of conservatives and liberals are just as small; but they are loud and shrill, and incessant. Do you think it is just about gay women? Well, no. We live in the age of the influencer and do not exist in a bubble. I mean, you might, but I don’t.
Sincere apologies for the American GIs!
I will be told what a ‘woman’ behaves like. Like I wrote in an earlier blog, the first thing a lesbian is stripped of for ‘poor’ behaviour is her right to womanhood. The mere act of existing as a lesbian in the first place, to some, is ‘not how a woman behaves’. This is a ridiculous, nonsensical argument to keep revisiting or be put through repeatedly, particularly by what is effectively an argument between bored housewives and liberals. My gender is lesbian. I exist in a world with homophobia which pretends there is a separation between Church and State. I often do not relate to heterosexual women and I am at peace with that. I mean, what is this shit? It is as pathetic and pointless as any of the theories I read on social media about women. Even though I am often very feminine in presentation I do not feel particularly comfortable in large groups of heterosexual women; we just exist in different worlds and that is fine with me. This is, again, where I have never quite understood the superficial theories conservative positions like gender critical/radical feminism hold because you reduce women to their appearance. I am fully aware that you will be screaming that you “are left wing”, but theories that reduce women to superficial physical characteristics, as well as demanding acceptable behaviours of women, rather than accepting the core of their personality or personal attributes are either derived from conservative or liberal values and you claim you are not the latter, which I am naturally respecting. We may look alike but it often feels quite stilted and jarring; I am told my personality seems ‘masculine’ by straight women and we usually end up clashing quite quickly. It is almost like any and all theory is superficial bullshit when you apply it to people in the real world, because people are largely individuals with their own personalities.
There are other women who sit with similar spectrums of the world to me who I see equally as fatigued by the polarisation; I do not think we share the same political views but the same hyper criticism and cynicism of the world remains. For some reason they still try to battle it out. Initially I considered this; I have interests over and above, that branch out into multiple aspects of the political spectrum. But you are not allowed a free reign of social media on a public platform, especially as a lesbian. Inevitably, you will be attacked. The slightest hint of a view that is unpalatable to one extreme, and they will make your life a living hell. Your sex and love life is a matter of public debate and discussion by both conservative and liberal fucks alike, all with their sense of moral righteousness, and you will never be allowed to criticise this without either extreme attacking you. You will be told that you are either a traitor to your sex whilst endlessly sent images of penises, or you will be told how you make the world a less safe space. The issue with the likes of all the JK Rowlings of the world is that they have merely glossed over how women like me have became cannon fodder in their war; another punching bag for liberals and conservatives alike to attack depending on whichever political view I hold at the time. JK Rowling et al have not defended women like me; they have still made women like me scapegoats. We are ripe for liberals, ever hungry for likes and internet popularity, to dissect and persecute for the slightest kind of wrongthink. At the opposite end, we will be told how we need to be ‘saved’ and we will still have our private lives invaded. The JK Rowlings of the world have still managed to make life fucking miserable for us. You want a Twitter spat? No problem!
There is zero place to exist comfortably as a lesbian without being under constant speculation and attack. If I express the wrong political view to any given side, I will be attacked for hours on end. I will have my sex life dissected. I will be called a man. I will be screamed at about dicks. I will be told I’m a bigot. I will be assumed to be a trans woman, because that is somehow the lowliest existence to be. I will be told to ‘examine my prejudice’. I will be told I’m offensive. I will be told that my family life is foul, because a child cannot have two mothers. I will be told I am ‘lying to a child’. I will be asked if I like sex toys why don’t I like dicks, and it’s “hurtful” if I point out this is what slimy men in bars say. I will be told I am misogynistic if I find a woman attractive. I will be told what lesbians are meant to look like. I will have my appearance attacked. I will be told about lesbian domestic abuse rates. I will be told about rape. I will have my own rape dissected and turned against me. I will have my experience of domestic abuse used as a weapon. I will be told about ‘lady dicks’. I will be told how ‘boundaries’ might be offensive. I will be argued with for hours on end until the end goal is that I might, hopefully, break. The internet is a miserable place to be openly gay because none of you have any fucking common sense anymore. And I would make it perfectly clear for the millionth time, because “gender critics” cannot (and will not) read, that I am pointing the finger just as much at liberals who have helped to create this culture and feed into it time and time again because it suits them to do so. And you’ll see them all squeal like hit dogs. I get on fine with individual trans people, but I fucking despise ‘allies’ (who spend their lives unusually fascinated with anyone they find ‘exclusionary’ and it is, oddly, only ever lesbians that are the source of their hatred) and hope they spend the rest of their lives stepping on lego. I hope you do too, dear gen crit. Normal people take people as they find them; there are people I genuinely love and care about who are trans and I just like them as people? It seems peculiar that liberals and conservatives cannot just do the same, without resorting to treating people as collectables to exploit. You will not like my saying that, but you only like the people your friends tell you that your friends tell you to like. I like the people I just like, and if I disagree with them it is probably over normal things. We have regular friendships cultivated because of our personalities, not because of our characteristics or the social status we afford each other. I have had a lifetime of homophobia so sadly I do not break to it; I simply remove myself from the equation. Why would I put myself into this time after time? This blog won’t change anything; I’m not naive. You may think I’m angry but there is no point Being Angry At The Internet. I am bitter; there is a difference. Choosing to walk is like the moment you decide to end a bad relationship. They will remain the same but it isn’t your problem anymore. If conservatives and liberals want to argue all day how they’re totally not bigots when everyone else knows they are — well, let them. Let them eat themselves to death. The fastest way to destroy a narcissist is to destroy them of the attention they crave so my attention is no longer there to give. You are welcome to feed their toxic whirlpool if you want. Thank you JK Rowling and her ‘army’ of fuckwits, and thank you liberals.
Liberals will get so upset reading this and desperately look for anywhere they can point the finger to scream “she’s a terf!” because it is the only insult you have in your arsenal when lesbians upset you. So I will make it perfectly plain that I fully support anyone advocating to get equal rights in healthcare, employment and housing et al. Why wouldn’t I? What a ridiculous statement to make. I do not like liberals and their clinging at the trouser legs of already very weary people across the board, begging for adulation, desperate to make it all about you, and your validation, and your need for attention. You should make liberals choke on their homophobia; they want to call you dyke and you should remember that. Declaring yourself left wing doesn’t make you a good person - it just makes you left wing. I do not like conservatives (which yes, includes gender critics). I do not like radical feminists. Radical feminism is simply a fairy tale that makes you feel better about a shit world. Radical feminism also is incapable of the same levels of self criticism and self reflection that liberals demand of others, but comes with all the finger pointing. Much like liberals, to radfems the world is very binary; if you are not a radfem, you must, by default, be a ‘libfem’. What a ridiculous, redundant, binary view of the world. Much like liberals, to radfems anyone who does not think like them is an individual who should need their thinking ‘corrected’ or they are simply a bad person that they do not trust. Much like liberals, they believe that individuals are “so close to getting it” when they express a view that sails close to their beliefs. Once again, I refer you to my earlier point on being able to share common values with left libertarians with regards to my views on the government and individualism. Libertarians do not irritate me by telling me that I am “so close to getting it” before screaming for hours in my replies about Jefferson.* Radfems have very binary views of the world that I do not subscribe to as, again, they do not have any feasibility when applied to the real world. Once again I refer you to the example of the party who wishes to have 50 unicorn horns surgically attached to their body. It is no one’s business what I may or may not think of the person’s life choices; I will defend the person’s right to do so and live in peace from both State and social interference so long as that person also does not bother anyone else. This is how we operate in a society. Radical feminists, much like gender critical feminists, will not allow for either; their opinions tend to differ but much of it comes down to collectivism. I am largely not collectivist. I do not care what you do if you are not bothering anyone else. I will quite happily have a civil discussion with most people who are civil to me. I despise the social media bubble of deciding whether a person is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ according to others. I will decide for myself, not by a panel appointed elsewhere. Some of you just want everyone else to make decisions for you and then claim you are ‘free thinkers’, but I suspect this is why theory makes you feel all nice and swaddled like a little baby. There is something deliciously ironic about groups of individuals, both liberal and conservative, complaining it is only the same two political parties that ever assume Government yet stumbling across an individual or tweet and deciding — within seconds — the entire political ideology of the person behind the account. You are part of the fucking problem.
*Only conservatives and liberals can piss off people enough to make anyone write positively about libertarians twice in one blog. I swear you people are the fucking worst.
I had a conversation with a friend (who is a trans woman) over how homophobia and transphobia is very quick to spill out from apparent ‘allies’; the sense of “finally, I can be homophobic”. Senator Lindsey Graham is rumoured to be gay; you only have to look at Twitter to see the rapid speed with which liberals and so-called progressives were fast to make reference to him as ‘Lady G’ and ‘sodomy’ references that he was “fucking America up the ass”. I would, again, like to add that I am not offended by this in the way you think I am — conservatives seem to struggle with a gay person pointing out where someone is being homophobic, but that I am not rocking in a corner incapable of leaving my home because I feel physically unsafe or something. I am highlighting it because of the pious nature with which liberals and progressives depict themselves, but when presented with the opportunity to Perform A Homophobia against someone they do not like, liberals will take it as readily as any conservative. All minorities are a chess piece to be played to these people; all political movements are something they can capitalise upon. Conservatives see this kind of criticism on social media and immediately jump in to assume someone can be ‘redpilled’ because, again, there is no kind of ability to be frank and it never occurs to them that you might equally despise them too.
It is impossible to be a cynic on the internet in an age where everyone is impossibly valid. I am a millennial; I grew up in the era of online dating where men frequently pretended to be lesbians on dating apps with pictures of women they swiped off the internet whilst asking me to send pictures of my feet. Now I am going to be irritated and find it offensive if I am talking about politics and I am accused of being a man, yes. I also do not have a problem if you assume everyone on the internet is lying to you about who they are — on the contrary, I think you should. There are people who have met me in person, or spoken to me on the phone, and know I am a real person and I am who I say I am. But cynicism is good, and cynicism is healthy. Cynicism keeps you safe and healthy on the internet — it can even save your life. I cannot fucking stand this validation culture that has came about. If you think I am being cruel (and you will, because you are probably a liberal who cannot apply common sense), I am not talking about the conservative need to be willfully cruel to individuals. As I said, I am frequently called a man and I know the reasons for that are both rooted in homophobia and transphobia. There is an active difference between blindly believing anything you are told on the internet because you must be kind, at all costs, and a healthy dose of skepticism. What liberals fail to realise is that also applies to them — I am not going to necessarily believe X is a chode just because you tell me that they are a chode. And even the reasons you give might not be what I believe justifies enough for me to dislike a person, or cut them off. Cynicism is bad though. In an era where very, very liberal, prominent people on the internet are telling you that cynicism is bad, they only have your best interests at heart. And remember, the apologies are always very sincere. Liberals just love social justice. I’m sorry, did you think ‘cancellation’ was just profitable for the right wingers? Oh, honey.
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Do you think my frustration with how liberals and conservatives take and exploit social trends for their own gain with which to build a social media platform for themselves is simply to do with this? No. Like I have said before, nothing political exists in a vacuum. I mean, it may for you — but it does not for me. And it doesn’t for those with far more nefarious intent.
A person who is merely miserable and fed up in the coronavirus restrictions will actively avoid going on social media to avoid talking about this, because they will be denounced as a ‘covidiot’ if they use the ‘wrong’ language to someone with a suitable size of account. I have had coronavirus; I was extremely ill with coronavirus including what was likely pneumonia over summer, and I am not prone to respiratory infection. For months I struggled to even walk up my own stairs without struggling for breath afterwards. I wear masks when I go out, I find the conspiracy theorists around the virus laughable. I still am quite capable of understanding and having empathy for a person who is frightened for the idea of losing their entire livelihood and I still can have empathy for a person with serious mental health issues who mentally cannot cope with prolonged periods of isolation. I am still able to comprehend that not everyone is able to express themselves in a way that is “acceptable” or “nice” especially when they are terrified. More than that, I also comprehend that the people who will be nice to those people — incredibly nice, really — are the ones who will send them all kinds of theories that often end up telling them things in the end that involve terms like “Wuhan flu” and “Clinton drinks children’s blood”. Sometimes I think it is just better to listen to a person rant it out from behind their mask, but by all means, I’m sure you got in your little dunk at their expense and you got your dopamine hit of all those people giving you likes and oh! Look, now that person has people sending them articles on rallies on how the Government has been lying to them and the vaccine is going to put microchips into their body. Still, I’m sure it was worth it for you. Hospitals? Top of my list!
But why coronavirus? It is one of the fastest growing routes into QAnon conspiracy theories for people. In a few clicks on social media, I can rapidly descend into QA-lite garbage. You can even read how it is tearing families apart, full of that liberal smugness, on Reddits. Now I believe a bit of schadenfreude, especially at the expense of conservatives, is as delicious as the next person; but much like cheesecake, I usually realise too much only makes me sick. There’s that individualism again I suppose — but I just don’t want to get sick because you wanted to gorge yourself. Liberals think this is “going high”; I just can’t be fucked with people who have single issue politics and/or think politics only began after 2016 in America, peppered with pieces of history that suits their Twitter threads. Oh, you’re doing that face because I’ve probably described you, haven’t I?
Social media is a breeding ground for misinformation on all sides and you should be critical of everything that you stumble across. The former UK Liberal Democrat leader, Jo Swinson, was forced to deny that she enjoyed killing squirrels as part of a fake news campaign. AI technology can now replicate human faces in seconds, and I do not even have to link in Russian interference in foreign elections. You will know of the Russian interference in the 2016 US election, but you may not be aware of it’s interference in the Scottish independence referendum. Have you never stopped to question why one of the most significant donors to the Better Together campaign (the no side) in 2014 now elicits so much support amongst careerists in an apparently pro independence party in 2019/2020? Politically it makes no sense. No one even knows if there was interference in Brexit. I would also suggest you look at the rise of extreme right governments across EU countries whilst reflecting on Russian propaganda and how social media is used, with particular note to pg29–32 which specifically cites YouTube and both “far left” and “far right” resources. Have I hurt your feelings, dear liberal and dear conservative? I do hope so. I just think it is odd how the most right wing Conservative government we have had since Thatcher would not care about raging culture wars tearing the country — if not the world — apart whilst everyone else seems to be laughing themselves to the bank. I cannot see what there is to gain from a man who refuses to even denounce QAnon who wishes to remain the apparent leader of the free world watching the world turn to shit as a result of never ending culture wars. Of course you are more than welcome to call me all the names under the sun but I will continue to sleep, unbothered, in a big bed with my partner, appeasing no one and not actually giving a fuck. Well, I tell a lie, it really irritates me being called a radical feminist, I fucking hate them because they have really quite silly views. And I fucking despise being called a liberal, because I fucking hate liberals.
Someone snidely said once that I can’t blame every bad behaviour on the internet on “Russian bots”. I would like to make clear that I absolutely do not (they might be Iranian bots, sorry) which is why I am reiterating the point that politics do not exist in a vacuum. At least 70 countries have been found to have engaged in cyber propaganda, either internationally or against their own citizens. The temptation for individuals who have a very narrow, fixed view — or single issue voting — is that they cannot see how that issue will be influenced by anything else. If you blindly believe everything you read on the internet, or read it through the tightly wound narrative of your single issue, you are nothing more than a sucker. To put this another way, we referred to appealing to gay voters as the ‘pink pound/vote’ (it is more commonly rebranded to ‘rainbow capitalism’ now in order to incorporate how companies make themselves seem LGBT-friendly). In old money, this would be political parties leaning very heavily on their gay-friendly policies (or how they were least likely to fuck us over). You will still hear jaded millennial/boomer LGBT people disparagingly refer to it as such (*cough*). An individual posts a tweet designed to carry mass appeal, or splinter because of it’s antagonistic nature. You need individuals — actual individuals — who hold these views in the first place in order for a seed to be planted. Homophobia? Are you surprised that Russians may have an interest in the spread of homophobia? Would you be surprised that they want trans people to be called “mentally ill” all over the internet and have their rights turned back? There is no point “solely blaming it on Russian bots” because in order for a tweet to even gain traction, people would have to be receptive to those views already, no matter how divisive — this is why interference works on political ‘hot topics’ like Black Lives Matter, Trump or LGBT issues. Interference, from the likes of Russian bots, works because they traditionally play both sides of the argument. To be crude — both conservatives and liberals are suckers. Every popular political movement, every trending hashtag (and it’s potential counter hashtag, or opinion) is ripe for interference and exploitation. Anti vax? Bots, too. The viral tweet that you find either super offensive or super validating? It probably got there because of bots. But they will even go far enough to organise meeting in real life around the political activism of their misinformation campaigns. They use any kind of pop culture. Why would I believe you are who you say you are on the internet? Because you told me? Thanks but nah. You all knock yourselves out for those likes and claps or whatever though.
If your first thought is to read criticisms of both liberal and conservative extremity and think I’m a prime candidate for ‘redpilling’ and close off — or worse yet, get excited — you’re just as part of the problem for how divided the world is. It is quite the opposite; encouraging people to be critical and question everything rather than blindly hitting like on things, or being angered by things, is far better. Given that I have written two blogs in one, I am trying to keep these sections shorter, but I will cast your mind back to when conservatives originally started screaming about the “far left” (yes, there was a world before 2016, I know! It was still shit.). But like I said, interference works because it has to play both sides of an argument. In September 2020, evidence has been found of Russian interference in spreading what some may class as ‘far left’ political opinions. This has also spread into both pro-right and left wing sites — even going so far as to set up Twitter and LinkedIn presences — and understandably create unrest amongst actual socialists. Your political beliefs are yours to have; but the points I am trying to hammer home to you is that nothing on the internet might be what you think it is. And by nothing, I mean nothing.
Have a laugh at bigots’ expense though; JK Rowling’s most infamous tweet was almost certainly driven by Russian propaganda (largely, if not entirely solely, due to her pre-existing fame and the potential for misinformation networking and ability to cultivate followings, so I wouldn’t get too excited. You are still more fringe than anti-vax… but from a strategic perspective, a useful idiot is still useful), and they will almost certainly have this on Mumsnet if they ever see it, having no idea what to do with the copium of a blog that punches into liberals when it’s already dead and still thinks they’re shit. Probably still a man or a ‘TRA’ or something simplistic though. нет.
When I started writing this, within a couple of days of my saying I was leaving Twitter, I had two different friends contact me. One is a Black lesbian living in the US who said she was also going on hiatus because she cannot handle the racism anymore and is terrified of the outcome of the US presidential election. The second is another female friend who said she would miss my ‘caustic’ takes on the world. Today the latter contacted me to say that she was suspended for calling someone a “spineless racist troll”. Twitter feeds off outrage culture with absolutely no concern for the real life consequences for the human beings concerned; it is the biggest grifter of all. At the start of 2020, advertisers on Twitter could actively target Neo-Nazi, homophobic and transphobic advertising, as well as marketing their audience to pro-eating disorder content. I am tired of a society where we have politicians declaring that “we are tired of experts” and now Twitter threads are a source of information. We live in a world where a Home Secretary is all but openly declaring war on ‘lefty lawyers’ whilst fascists are being charged with attacking legal firms armed with knives and Confederate flags in London because they have been radicalised on Twitter and the wider internet. A person can, in a few clicks, find themselves in a rabbit hole of outright hatred of white nationalism which seems innocuous to the outside world. ‘Feminism’ now rubs shoulders with white nationalists. I am told I should see a pro life lawyer, who believes life begins at conception — an extreme view even amongst pro-lifers — as a “new form of feminism”. In several clicks, someone merely confused about COVID-19 restrictions can be taken down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. If you are merely frustrated with the measures that are put in place, you must be careful in how you phrase this to the outside world, lest you be deemed a fool and shamed to the world for your supposed recklessness. To shame another, even in a pandemic, even when that person may be struggling with the threat of economic devastation and the destruction of their mental health? Well, you might get immediate likes on your tweet and go viral. Why would you apply any kind of critical thought, or pause, or consider anything else? There is no interpretation of there but for the grace of God go I in 2020 and even I, as an atheist, am able to apply some balance of reason to this. You must navigate the line that keeps all modicum of the human condition happy, at all times, lest you be the worst person in the world. In between all of this I am pushed between goalpost to goalpost of which belief I hold between liberal and conservative. It is fucking bullshit. There is an absence of any and all common sense because the world is entirely shouted down by grifters and anyone who has any kind of common sense will not be the ones using the buzzwords or hitting the viral tweets. Algorithms simply do not allow for it, and traffic does not allow for it. What does generate traffic and views is the commodity of hatred; it makes profit for others to spin the idea that there are groups of the Other who want to Take Your Rights Away, it generates clicks and likes if you can push that idea. Even though every day I wake up and feel real, genuine sadness that there has not been an asteroid, if I must be stuck on this fucking earth with other bipedal meatbags, I don’t want to be part of this narrative or part of driving it.
I would wager that Trump is smarter than he initially appears. No, please bear with me here, I think the man is a fuckwit and wholly unfit for political office. But like most snake oil salesmen, he knows what to say — and many people have had a long history of feeling like their trust in mainstream media has lessened. In a survey of 2,000 adults, 17% of 18–24 year olds are ‘more likely’ to mistrust what they see online compared to only 9% of over 55 year olds. To echo my friend’s fears of the upcoming election in the US, he does not have a fanbase: he has a cult. I once read someone criticise the left by saying words to the effect of when you are hungry, the Church will turn up with food, and a Bible. It is the food you want, but they will leave the Bible. Earlier I wrote that criticisms of the over zealotry of liberals on social media tends to see your mentions filled with how you can be “redpilled” by conservatives. Your timeline will be filled with hashtags and links, as well as how you must ‘do better’. In other words, you are a recruitment tool for a grifter; even better if you are a minority. Liberals often truly believe that a person must be ‘sympathetic to those beliefs’ in order to get sucked down a rabbit hole. But the internet makes it easier to be radicalised than you realise. There largely aren’t “good guys” and “bad guys”. There’s just accounts you don’t like. You. Extreme and far right radicalisation has changed rapidly due to the internet, and we should change to meet that threat. An individual can now become radicalised into far right beliefs from mistrust in vaccinations. That kooky, harmless but a bit odd mum who just didn’t want to give her kid the measles jab can, and often does, easily now get access to the types of material you previously associated with This Is England and it is because they know how to both manipulate, and listen to, people better than you do. The person angry at the Government over coronavirus, ‘shamed’ for their ‘poor language’ and frustration, is now ripe for these people to exploit. Like someone else said, they will feed the hungry, and they will leave a bible.
One of the last things I wrote on Twitter was that “hatred is a commodity… that sells better than sex”. This has been the case on Twitter and Facebook, with hate groups openly allowed to remain. There is a sense, even when they have ‘tried to crack down’, that it is like trying to close the stable door after the horse has bolted; these groups simply move to other places like WhatsApp and Telegram. You should absolutely condemn this. The issue is that liberals cannot see where this is ripe for exploitation from multiple people; from the streamer looking to build a brand, to the account that they believe is completely genuine and shares all the right things. Whether or not they want to admit it (they don’t — liberals only understand buzzwords and ‘cancellation’ and wonder why the rest of the world doesn’t like them), they think the world is good if you are on their side. Misinformation works because people want to believe it, whatever the Other is. These people genuinely and truly wish to believe that, for example, gay people are predatory. What liberals cannot grasp is that I couldn’t give a shit if they want to believe it if they stay the fuck away from me and the laws that protect me. You are not protecting me. These people will always exist, just like people like me will always exist. You will wind these people up for the benefit of your fucking podcasts, your timelines and your instant approval, and it will be people like me left picking up the pieces whilst you skip off to the next thing that promises adulation. These people will be fed into far more malignant networks because of people like you, because hatred is a commodity and no one ever just buys the first product they look at. Liberals instantly respond with that fucking “I hate to do this” cartoon because again, the world exists in a vacuum and somehow they’re very capable of seeing individuals be lovebombed by conservatives and despite reading all that theory, don’t seem to understand basic human empathy and if you isolate an individual, they will go to where the ‘love’ is. Oh you’re doing that face again, aren’t you? Still, I suppose when you’re pointing a finger at me, you’ll never have to look in a mirror. Unfortunately, radicalisation into the far right — particularly in an internet age — tends to be slow burning until it reaches it’s peak. You need people who genuinely believe the hatred to recruit, but you equally just need lonely, misplaced and vulnerable people to be recruited. In the old days, hate groups used to target places like football grounds, prisons and the bullied kids at school/the most vulnerable kids. They still do this, but why would you need to go out in the pissing rain or get a criminal record when you can sit in the comfort of your home and recruit instead?
“You’d think that it would never happen to you, that you would never hold such horrible views,” says Alexandra. “But it just happened really slowly and I didn’t even notice it until too late.”
The other issue with the aforementioned cartoon and it’s simplicity is it ignores other trends within radicalisation, such as reciprocal radicalisation. How many times have you scrolled through any emotive, divisive topic, only to see it bombarded with comments blaming an entire group for one act, calls to violence, blaming the media etc? Division — or the concept of divisiveness across an entire society — combined with the internet is a petri dish for radicalisation. The world is not binary and neither is the underbelly of political movements. Reciprocal radicalisation works incredibly well online; the idea that the Other (whoever it is) has engaged in behaviour that the other group dislikes. They then take it to others, to stir up an emotive reaction, outrage and hatred — saving the most extreme, vicious responses for their private forums. They will seek to recruit others, sometimes through genuine concerns or misunderstanding of the situation, building up rage and fear in others. Before you get too excited — this also makes it perfect for the aforementioned misinformation campaigns. The more well known a situation has become, the more divisive the topic is; the more it will generate clicks, attention and likes. Once again, you are dealing with the internet — there are not really ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’. There are people you do not know. You might think you are doing something to help, but you may inadvertently be helping spread a climate of hatred even further.
Do you think Trump’s father was a pimp and a member of the KKK? You may have seen it spread around social media, originating from a reputable looking news website. You might have done, just because you blindly hate the man. He wasn’t; it was a fake news story spread by Iranian websites. Did you believe billions of US Social Security was funnelled into the impeachment, because you blindly hate the Democrats? It was fake news. Misinformation knows everything that you actually care about; every concern, every fear. Any and all political movement is ripe to be manipulated — and is. Do you think it is just social media? The spread of fake news across apps like WhatsApp over fears of child snatching has been linked to outbursts of vigilante gangs and violence in India. Why are you asking me who is a ‘good’ account and who is a ‘bad’ account on the internet? Would you like me to cast your fucking ballot for you too? Perhaps write your dissertation, go to your job? Is critical thinking this fucking difficult? I see people write Medium articles that they have to break down into five minute reads — and tell people as such. Do you need information to be presented to you in the length of time it takes to eat a bag of Quavers? Perhaps that is why you can only see the world through the tunnel vision of single issue politics then. I ate precisely one Quaver whilst I typed that sentence.
One of my friends/mutuals on Twitter tends to use TikTok quite a lot as a result of her daughter and before I left, told me that she had concerns about the proliferation of accounts that were offering ‘therapy’ on the platform and the potential for abuse. There are genuine therapists that exist on the platform, but TikTok has long been plagued with its own issues, including sexually predatory behaviour against young people by adults. Which again, echoes my earlier point: if you see the word ‘boundaries’ and find a way to create an argument around it, I suspect you may not be entirely a good person. In the simplicity of Twitter, both conservatives and liberals will reduce it to “dogwhistling”. As I said, the world does not exist in a vacuum. It may be comfortable for you to imagine the world does. The internet is full of nothing more than salespeople who see a movement as a way to cultivate their ‘brand’. Cynicism is good. But liberals watch outright emotionally manipulative, red flag behaviour day in, day out and are terrified to challenge it because they must be kind at all costs lest they be ‘cancelled’; conservatives can’t challenge manipulative behaviour in an individual without accusing an entire group of being guilty for it. Anyway, if you apply common sense, your conservative fuck friends ‘cancel’ you just as readily. No-one actually wins because at the root of it all, all you care about is your precious fucking brand. In the same week I have seen liberals try to play stupid word games with lesbians who simply don’t want to have men come onto them, whilst personally receiving messages about my own right to sexual boundaries from all sides and how that might make someone feel “unsafe”; at the same time I have seen conservatives send abuse to children including reference to pornography and asking what they ‘enjoyed’ making reference to sexual acts. Meanwhile, this is the kind of thing children outside of this vacuum have to deal with. So, once again, can you please explain to me what is up for debate around boundaries, because I am struggling here? Can you explain to me why cynicism is bad and telling young people to criticise and challenge everything is bad when BBC Panoroma is still finding predators on social media platforms in the last 24 hours?
When I was 19–21, I was in a horrific, abusive relationship that nearly destroyed me. Unfortunately I remember the situation all too vividly and watching both liberals and conservatives both manipulate culture wars simply for a little bit of social media clout turns my stomach. Some of these people your ‘advice’ is doled out to are the same age I was and probably just as vulnerable as I was. There are teenagers who are being bullied by their partners, or people they have started talking to online, into making stupid decisions that could haunt them the rest of their lives, if not get them criminal records. I am not going back and forth in ridiculous culture wars with adults that should fucking know better arguing about bullshit internet jargon that means nothing to anyone outside these bubbles. Teach young people to recognise emotionally manipulative behaviour instead (and here) of fucking endless theory and discourse (with particular note to point 3; ever been bombarded with endless Twitter threads about why you should “reconsider” why your boundaries are bad with multiple sketchy resources as to why? Ever been sent days upon days of abuse including being graphic imagery and asked about your personal life? Huh, interesting. Boundaries aren’t a debate: 4 words.). Teach them that no is a complete sentence. Teach them to how to critically analyse the information they are given; not to be either judgmental or to be fucking kind no matter the cost to them. Talk to them not just about domestic abuse and how it can manifest as emotional abuse, but how it can present as psychological manipulation from friends. Tell them that boundaries aren’t always just romantic or sexual; it is okay to ‘break up’ with friends too. In fact, tell them they will get dumped by a friend at least once in their life (or do the dumping) — and sometimes it will hurt more than the loss of a romantic relationship.
But where does this tie in to my quitting Twitter? When I originally posted my first blog I would get DMs from other lesbians saying that it was refreshing to read someone ‘just writing common sense’. No-one likes being caught between the fuckery of liberals and conservatives — no one. I would get messages from trans people asking if it was ‘okay’ they related to aspects of it — the sense of loneliness as a child and not fitting in. Why wouldn’t it be okay? It is a bullshit cultural war that grifters insist on drawing where it rewards them in some way that benefits them to say I hate you, or have a problem with you and I am tired of playing along with these fuckers’ games. I am tired of a culture which only rewards the pockets of both liberals and conservatives, who sit on their streams, podcasts and feeds denouncing the world for fuckery. Give me money and I’ll tell you that kittens are the Devil. I won’t mean a word of it, but I like money. I will tell you whatever you want to hear though, and so will a liberal or a conservative. I don’t have a problem with their making a grift; sit on your stream and say all the chemicals are turning all the frogs gay, Alex. I don’t have a problem with people throwing money at you, even if it is just clicking on your feed. We live in a capitalistic society and if this is how you turn a coin then so be it. But once again, all this shit is now having an impact on my life and my shit and both of you are beginning to piss me off in equal measure. When I feel like I can’t even go on social media and casually interact with people from all walks of life without being routinely attacked, you are causing me a fucking problem. When I am incapable of expressing an opinion without having to break it down over and over or being bounced between box after box, you are causing me a personal fucking problem. Politics don’t exist in a neat little bubble. You are influenced, daily, by things that you do not even stop to consider, and there is no amount of screaming at anyone online that is going to change that. I could easily bin my old account, set up a new one and go back into lesbian Twitter but the overall problems that made me just want to leave entirely would still be there. If people want to argue with an account that claims to be a 16 year old, but has most likely been cultivated for months to look like a real account, and liberals want to insult those women over it because liberals are homophobes anyway, then have at it — nothing I say or do will change any of those parties’ minds. If you’ve gotten this far and still think of the world as being in a bubble anyway then I just feel fucking sorry for you, but liberals and conservatives will probably just start calling each other Russian bots instead now. Very big brain. Can’t think why I can’t be fucked with Twitter anymore.
People will read all this and still say that “you are criticising SJWs” which is just simplistic (dear conservative: many people think your politics are a form of ‘SJW’ but because you hate the ‘right people’, you hold more market value than the ones traditionally on the left. Of course you’re defending free speech or something. Whatever you want to hear) but the issue is that if you resort to using this kind of vernacular, you embolden the nonsense of the “anti-woke” which ends up turning into a bigoted garbage fire. I despise this kind of internet language for any kind of serious political discussion; when you resort to justifying one, you open up a can of worms to justify using them all. People want information and opinions as quickly as they can, with as little research as they can, and even better if someone else has put in the hard work for them. I despise how lazy it has made people. The left can, and should, be able to acknowledge and challenge its own issues without the tendency to comfortably finger point. In the era of the internet, the issues long time left wingers have always known existed — homophobia, misogyny, transphobia, racism, et al — are only more pronounced. But now they are easier to capitalise on with the idea that perhaps you may be doing something about them. Am I saying it is a bad thing that the young people of Gen Z, full of passion and occasional clumsiness that tempers out my millennial cynicism and jadedness, are politically active? Absolutely not. But please — remember that not everyone who smiles at you is your friend, and influencers are still business people. What you might see as “helping” might just be a tremendous source of revenue to someone else that simply builds their business platform and nothing more. Or worse — the accounts don’t even exist in the first place. It isn’t about you. In an ideal world, you’d like to think you perhaps encouraged someone to think more critically about the world they interact with. But they won’t get likes doing that and it seems like way more hard work.
